First Bad Guy Experience

A memoir is to share memories.  I am writing so I don't forget them. 

My first memory of a "bad guy" was in second grade.  It was my teacher named Mrs. Weathers.  She had been teaching at the Catholic elementary school for a long time and she was probably in her early sixties.  To me, she was ancinet, cranky and didn't want to be there.

Mrs. Weathers had her favorites in class.  It seemed to be the kids that she felt were cute, wore all the stylish clothes and had parents with money.  She did not like my twin sister, Lizzie, and I.  I really don't know why - we were good kids, quite, did our homework, never caused problems and came from a middle class family who did well in the community. 

One day Lizzie and I brought home from school an order form for the magazine "Highlight" - remember that one?  It had games and fun little things to do.  This was back when you had to use your imagination and there was not a gaming system in every house or a computer for that matter.  My mom signed Lizzie and I up to get our very own magazine - so we didn't have to share.  Sharing was something Lizzie and I had to do a lot and my mom took this into consideration.  She did not want us to share the magazine because we would have to split up the games and then there would be fights.  At the time I thought Mom was only benefiting us, but no fighting was a benefit to herself.  Smart lady.

Lizzie and I returned our order forms to Mrs. Weathers.  Payment for the magazine was not required at the time of order.

A few weeks later, one "Highlight" magazine shows up to the house.  I don't remember who's name was on the magazine, but it was apparent only one was ordered.

So there were many fights over who got to read it first, who got to draw in it for the puzzles, etc.  You can imagine.  I think my mom may have eventually ordered the 2nd magazine herself, but I can't recall.

Sometime later we had parent teacher conferences at school.  I don't know how they do them today, but they closed school for the day and the student and their parent showed up for a 15 minutes time slot to meet with the teacher.  During my time slot, my mom asked Mrs. Weathers about the "Highlight" magazines.  Two order forms were sent in, but only one magazine arrived at our hourse.  Mrs. Weathers told my mother that she didn't think it made sense for my mom to order two magazines and it was cheaper to have one and Lizzie and I could just share.  I remember feeling like a second class citizen.  All the other kids in class get their own magazine, but since I am a twin, I have to share mine?  Even at seven years old, I felt discriminated.  My mom was fuming, but did not want to rip the lady apart in fear that Mrs. Weathers would take it out on Lizzie and I in class.

This is my first memory of someone making a decision that was none of their business and being unfair.  Mrs. Weathers actually did two things - she decided that my mom either could not afford two magazines or was wasting her money.  The other is that Mrs. Weathers completely disregarded that Lizzie and I were two different human beings.  She assumed that we would share because we were twins.  Not fair.

So Mrs. Weathers was a bad guy.  I had her again in the fifth grade, but that is another story for another day.

Did what happen with the magazine impact me?  Of course it did, otherwise I would not be writing about it.  When I meet a twin or a person that may be different that what is the norm - I try not to judge or assign value to them.  All of our youth years, Lizzie and I had tried to separate ourselves from each other - probably to prove to society that we are different people.  We lived in different countries for a few years, not having much communcation at all with each other.  This gave me an opportunity to experience life with Lizzie - and it was both a struggle and a reward.  We have had very different adult lives between the ages of 18 and through our twenties.  Ironically, we have come full circle back to each other and realize that we have something incredibly valuable - each other, that most people in the world will never have, and we embrace it.

Ann